Have you ever wondered why marriage often seems challenging? Why there is conflict? Why two
people in love can be shocked at the baggage that shows up soon after the wedding ceremony?
Maybe it is because those challenges are meant to make us more like Jesus. Starting in September,
Terence and Debbie Andre will be leading a class on Sunday mornings at 11am to take on the question, "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" This is
not a "tips and techniques" class—it will go much deeper than that. This class will have great
interaction, story, guest speakers, and biblical content to help us unpack the true meaning of marriage
and how we are to respond. During the Fall semester, we will walk through John and Stasi Eldredge’s
book on Love and War. In the Spring, we will dig into Gary Thomas’s book on Sacred Marriage.
Terence and Debbie knows what it is like to hit a major life challenge and the impact it has on your
marriage. Two years ago, Terence had to face a battle with Leukemia and Bone Marrow Transplant.
Terence and Debbie also spent 21 years in the Air Force and can relate to couples in the military.
They have three children (Jennifer, 23, Brian 21, and Zachary 6).
If interested in this class, send an
email to Terence and Debbie Andre (terence.andre@gmail.com) or call them at 719-213-4205.
'Marriage Connect' meets Sundays, 11:00 @ New Life Church beginning September 29th (World Prayer Center 125/126)
By
Bob Baker (Special Guest Blogger--Brad's Father)
From my earliest memory, I heard the term “baker’s dozen” and knew that it
meant 13 of something. As a kid, I
thought it was really cool that someone would name a dozen of something for our family. It really came alive for me when, at about
age 6, I was sent into a bakery shop in Fredericksburg, Texas, with
instructions from my parents to buy a dozen chocolate chip cookies to be
consumed during the remainder of our road trip.
Much to my delight, the kind lady on the other side of the bakery counter
handed me my sack and cheerfully said, “Here you are, son, a Baker’s
dozen.” I’m not sure where that 13th
cookie went between the store and the waiting car outside (yea, right!), but by
the time I returned to the car there were only 12 cookies in the sack. My
father, who was a newspaper publisher and columnist for many decades in West
Texas, wrote a column bearing that name.
His column, magically, always had 13 paragraphs! Fortunately, he failed to ask me about that 13th
cookie.
When my wife (Carol) and I started doing marriage stuff, we thought it only
appropriate to come up with the 13 key things that we have learned about marriage.
Because we’ve been at it for almost 50 years, our “cookies” should be
well-baked by now. Here are the 13
suggestions that Carol and I would give to any couple seeking to build, or
rebuild, a God-honoring marriage.
The Baker’s Dozen:
Find and keep a mentor couple or couples in your life
from Day 1.
Find a way for physical touch every day (rubdowns,
hugs, pats, entry and exit pecks, etc.).
Never dishonor your mate to a third party (especially
your own parents, siblings, or best friends). Exceptions: when seeking help from trusted and seasoned
counselors, or when your physical safety is being threatened.
Banish the “D” word from your vocabulary.
Never go to sleep at night without resolving your
anger or having a specific plan for doing so.
Be your partner’s strongest supporter and friend—not
the Devil’s Advocate who advances the perspective of others in conflict with
your partner. [A great way to do this: When you receive very good (or bad)
news, make sure your partner is the first one to hear about it from you (borrowed
from our dear friends, Gene and Judith Schneider, who made it well past 50
years together and taught us a lot].
Be quick to say “I’m sorry, please forgive me,” and
then make sure you try to repair the damage you have done.
Learn how to experience your partner’s pain (through
empathy) and then do everything possible to bring them comfort and healing.
Get good at objectively explaining your partner’s
perspective on “hot button” issues.
Be quick to ask of both your partner and other people,
“What do you think about that?” when considering important decisions. (Men need
to take advantage of the discerning radar system that seems to be installed in
every woman).
On core issues, learn to tell the truth, but do it
lovingly and at the right time. [Avoid “gushing” over the looks, skills,
opinions, wisdom, or accomplishments of other people (extremely attractive
people, high profile experts, etc.)]
Never forget the power of praying together as a couple. a. For bringing healing to your partner’s soul, and body b. For making decisions and obtaining Godly wisdom
Give away to other couples the treasures that you have
discovered along the way. (We have a clue from God; He did not make seedless
grapes. They were seed-bearing and could reproduce--before men came along and
made them sterile. We also need to
reproduce the good stuff we learn.)
*If you’ll bring us a dozen good Oatmeal Raisin
cookies, we’ll give you a 14th tip!
For More from Bob Baker visit Marriage Foundations of Colorado at FreshStartMarriage.com
For you history buffs, and to
save you a trip to Wikipedia, a baker's dozen (also a long dozen or long
measure) dates to the 13th Century in one of the earliest English statutes,
instituted during the reign of Henry III (1216–1272). In very lawyerly fashion, it was called the Assize of Bread and Ale. The bottom line was this: Bakers who were found to have shortchanged
customers (some variations say that they would sell hollow bread) could be
subject to severe punishment including judicial amputation of a hand. To guard against losing a hand
to an axe, a baker would give 13 for the price of 12 in order to be certain of
not being known as a cheat. Specifically, the practice of baking 13 items for
an intended dozen was insurance against "short measure," on the basis
that one of the 13 could be lost, eaten, burnt, or ruined in some way, leaving
the baker with the original legal dozen. If you want to drown in history, check
out the guild
codes of the Worshipful Company of Bakers in London.]
How We Love by Milan and Kay Yurkovich
How We Love Our Kid by Milan and Kay Yurkovich
Sacread Marriage by Gary Thomas
Praying Circles Around Your Kids by Mark Batterson
The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller
Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
Sheet Music by Kevin Leman'
Desperate: Hope for Moms Who Need a Breathe by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson
Preparing for Adolescence by James Dobson
Your Hearts Desire by Sheri Rose Shephard
How to Save Your Marrige Alone by Ed Wheat
Lifelong Love Affair by Jimmy Evans
The Influence of a Father by Tom Lane
